


They say love is blind. But believe me, love is insane

by TheSadisticMunchkin



Category: Eu não quero voltar sozinho | I Don't Want to Go Back Alone (2010), Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Blind Character, Blind Dean, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Maybe a few comments???, please
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-03 15:30:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1749596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSadisticMunchkin/pseuds/TheSadisticMunchkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester has been blind since birth and has been on the receiving end of his classmate's jokes ever since he could remember. He has always believed that he will never have a friend aside from his own brother. Everything soon changed when the new kid, Castiel Novak, arrives at their school. Based on the short film "I Don't Want To Go Back Alone"</p><p>(Title from "Who's Crazy?/My Psychopharmacologist and I" from the musical "Next To Normal")</p>
            </blockquote>





	They say love is blind. But believe me, love is insane

**Author's Note:**

> I just watched this amazing short film on youtube and I was inspired to write this piece :) You don't really have to watch it to understand this for some of the dialogue and story is tweaked but otherwise, everything is the same. Here is the link to the video if you want to watch it (and if you want my opinion, I really think you should): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Wav5KjBHbI&list=WL&index=3

The quick typing and occasional high pitched  _ding_ from Dean's braille typewriter were the only sounds in the classroom. He pretended to be indifferent. He really did try but he could still hear the snickers behind his back and the occasional whisper.  _Ignore it._ He told himself that over and over again in his head like a mantra. He continued to type, the loud ding of his typewriter echoed in his classroom followed by the same old joke of "Elevator up!" from his classmates. He cracked a sarcastic smirk at his brother whom he heard turn in his seat to reprimand their classmates.

"Seriously guys, that joke is so overused. How many times are you guys going to repeat it?"

"When it stops being funny!"

If he could see, Sam would have rolled his eyes and turned back. He was really grateful that Sammy was here with him. Who else was supposed to understand his condition more than his own brother? Sam was smart enough to advance two grades to be with his brother and, although Dean said that he managed fine on his own, the bullying decreased whenever he was there. The laughter floated around the classroom and it rang in his oversensitive ears. Was it so hard to have one day where no one laughed at him? Was it too much to ask for society to be more accepting?

Of course not. Nobody gave a damn about the blind kid.

"Alright, that's enough."

Dean mentally sighed in relief when Mr. Shurley spoke. At least the teachers tolerated him. "Before the bell rings, why don't we have your new classmate introduce himself? Castiel?" He could hear the boy in question shift uncomfortably behind him. "I don't think that would be necessary, sir." Castiel's voice was low and raspy for his age, Dean figured. Well, so was his but that was beside the point. He turned around slightly so he could hear him more properly and smiled a little bit when he heard more uncomfortable shuffling.

"Nonsense! Come over here, Castiel." Mr. Shurley, he guessed, must have gestured for Castiel to stand in front for the boy slowly stood up. His light footfalls echoed in Dean's ears and he turned back in his seat just in time. He still felt his leg brush against his knee though. Soon the footsteps stopped and so did the taunting chants of the boy's name from his insensitive classmates. He sat up, trying to indicate to the boy that he was willing to listen without making fun of him.

"My name is Castiel."

The class replied in a chorus "Hi Castiel!"

"I just transferred here." 

And then Dean heard light laughter and a small thump. He reached out to his brother, who sat next to him, and asked him what happened. "Those idiots threw a paper ball at Castiel." He could practically feel Sam shaking his head. He chuckled and sat back in his seat only moments before the bell rang. He sighed again and started groping around his chair for his bag. Sam helped him pack his things and, surely enough, Sam's arm was out for him to grip. He has long stopped feeling embarrassed with having to hold on to his brother when walking back home. It was better than using the stick anyway.

"Ready to go?"

"Aw, Sammy you're such a gentleman! I'm gonna swoon."

"Shut up jerk."

"Bitch." he replied in amusement, squeezing his brother's arm so they could leave. They started to make their way to the door when Sam stopped unexpectedly. "Dude, what?" he asked, shifting his bag strap more securely on his shoulder. "Do you live up the street or down?" Dean knew that it wasn't him he was talking to but was confused on who Sam was asking. When he heard that now familiar low voice reply with "Down." he knew right away that it was Castiel. He knew Sam was sort of a social butterfly so he just shrugged when Sam asked if Castiel could walk with them.

"I don't give a crap. I just want to go home." he said, shifting from one foot to the other. He assumed Sam gestured for their new classmate to join them as he felt an unfamiliar yet welcoming presence on his left. "Let's go." He said, squeezing Sam's arm once more. During that short walk with Cas (wow, a nickname already?), Dean learned that he loved watching Doctor Who, likes the color blue and has several siblings. "Wait, how many siblings do you have?" He asked again, just to make sure he heard him correctly.

"8 siblings." Cas answered and Dean let out a low whistle while Sam laughed at the thought of 8 siblings. "And one of them is Gabriel, right? The one who sits behind me?" Sam asked, feeling him stop in front of what he assumed was their house. "Unfortunately." He heard the clinking of keys against keys as Sam unlocked the door. "Well anyway, this is where we leave you. It was nice meeting you Cas." 

"It was my pleasure." Dean heard the real happiness in his voice and he couldn't help but smile at that. He felt Cas touch his hand softly, indicating that he wanted to shake it. Dean quickly shook his new friend's hand with what he hoped was his most charming smile. He stood on the porch until he was certain he couldn't hear Cas' footsteps anymore and by that time, Sam already went inside.

* * *

 "Dude, Lisa was totally checking you out during the test. She even left the room after us."

Dean scoffed as he fiddled with Sam's ridiculously long hair on his lap. Lisa Braeden? The school's head cheerleader and all around most popular girl in the school checking him out? The thought made him unexpectedly shudder. Maybe because Dean never thought girls would look at him that way. He never even saw his own reflection. How the hell was he supposed to know if he was drop dead gorgeous or looked like a potato? "You know I'm not interested in that chick." he replied, twisting another lock of Sam's hair in his hand. 

Sam scoffed and shifted slightly. "You're never interested in anyone. Or you never really tell me. I mean dude, I'm your brother! I should know these things." Dean laughed at his brother's exasperated tone. "I always tell you about the guys I like." Come to think of it, Dean hadn't heard Sam talk about another boy in a while now. The last one Sam gushed on and on about was this Lucifer guy, who happened to be another one of Cas' siblings. "Hey, you still in love with the devil?" he asked, earning him a lighthearted punch in the shoulder.

"Don't even mention him." He noted a hint of disgust in Sam's voice and he just laughed it off. Soon, he heard the soft footsteps of one Castiel approach them. "Could I sit with you guys?" Dean chuckled fondly at the question and tilted his head next to him. "Go ahead." He felt Cas' familiar warmth beside him and he smiled. "So, Cas, did you find your way around the school?" he asked, shifting into a more comfortable position with Sam's head still on his lap. "Well, I finally found the library. I call that an improvement. How did you guys do on the test?" 

"Horribly." 

"Aw come on, Dean. The test wasn't that hard. And I'm pretty sure Lisa did worse than you." Sam's teasing tone came back. "She looked like she was daydreaming." Dean shook his head and laughed again. "Not interested, Sammy." he repeated but his brother only punched him lightly in the stomach. Dean turned his head slightly to acknowledge Cas. "What about you?" He assumed Cas shrugged in the way Sam described to him and he smiled at the image relayed in his head.

"I think I did well. I like math anyway." 

"You should tutor Dean, he's terrible at it."

"You try solving equations in braille!" Dean wouldn't admit it out loud but he was slightly hurt by that comment. He knew Sam meant it lightly but that statement still stung. Dean took a deep breath and placed an apologetic hand on Sam's head. Sam seemed to relax at the touch. "It was just a test anyway. No big deal." He shrugged his shoulders, relaxing and leaning his head back on the wall. "I can help you for the next test. Not like I have anything better to do." And though Dean couldn't see Cas, he could imagine his face with a kind smile that accompanied his offer. 

"Okay."

* * *

 In the past few months, Sam, Dean and Castiel became great friends. They were in almost all the same classes and they would walk home together. Their daily routine of class, lunch, and then homework at the Winchester household would seldom vary. In any way, Dean would never walk home alone. He always held on to Sam's arm and would occasionally hold Cas'. During those past few months, Dean felt truly happy.

"Sammy?"

"Hmm?"

"How does Cas look like?"

He assumed Sam looked at him in confusion as he shifted his bag strap again. "What do you mean?" He heard the faint creek of the railing and guessed that Sam was leaning against it. "I don't know... His face, for example." He felt strangely anxious asking this question. He asked what people look like all the time. Sometimes he would let their own voices form pictures in his mind but he did prefer hearing descriptions from other people. So why is it that he feels nervous asking how Cas looked? He was his friend right? His best friend, actually. 

"Well, he has a mop of unruly dark hair, for starters." He felt the corners of his mouth twitch upwards at the description. He would guess that would be Cas' hair. "He wears glasses. Um, he has bright blue eyes." Dean's head started to piece together an image of Castiel's face and he was not ashamed to say that he was liking it so far. "He is a bit shorter than you, slightly stocky, is arriving..." Dean was confused by his final description until he felt Cas' arm bump his in greeting. "Hey guys." He may or may not have felt his heart skip a beat at the touch. 

Before he could greet him, Sam nudged him and he reluctantly grabbed on to his arm. Soon, they were walking down that familiar street again, Castiel's hands making sounds on the neighbor's gate as they went. After a few minutes of playing their usual game of Would You Rather, he heard Sam's phone ring and his brother stopping to answer it. "Hello? Jess what is it?" He registered the faint panicky voice of Jessica Moore as Sam tried to calm her down. "Jess, take deep breaths. Are you at your house? Okay just... stay calm dammit. I'll be there soon." He hung up with a grimace and he glanced over at his brother and his friend.

"If you want, I can walk Dean home." 

"You don't have to... I mean it's just a few more blocks." 

"I don't mind, Sammy." Sam whispered a last reassurance in his ear, making Dean sigh in frustration. "Just go, Sam. Cas will take care of me." With that statement, Sam took off with a smile. Dean chuckled at his brother's antics and felt around for Cas' arm. When he finally got a hold of it, he instantly switched Cas over to his right side. He just felt more comfortable with that. He didn't even register Cas's arm tensing at his touch but before he could say something, Dean's amused voice filled his ears. "You still there?" he teased, making Cas laugh his tension away.

"Of course."

"You can walk then."

* * *

Dean typed away whatever Sam repeated to him for his notes. History class was always his favorite class. Maybe because his uncle Bobby was teaching it but mostly because it was his last class of the day with Sam and Cas. But for some strange reason, Sam didn't have his usual energy today. His voice seemed irritated and his arm was usually tense when he held it. Dean tried to push it to the back of his mind when Mr. Singer mentioned their new assignment. They had to write about Sparta with a partner, which was easy enough for him. He was just about to ask Sam if he wanted to pair up when he heard the scrape of his desk across the floor as he moved away from him.

Dean was confused but did not comment on it. After all, Cas offered to be his partner. He briefly heard Gabriel ask his brother to be his partner for the project and Dean visibly relaxed at the fact that Sam would be able to work with someone other than him. Him and Cas agreed to do the paper at his place just when the bell rang for end of classes. He eagerly stood up, waiting longer than normal for Sam's arm to hold but he still ignored it. "Gabe wants to do the project in the library, how about you guys?" Sam said as they walked out the doors. 

"Our house." Dean answered, already feeling Sam's arm slip away from his grasp. "Well... I guess I'll see you at dinner." Dean didn't get a chance to say goodbye before he heard Sam run off to meet up with Gabriel. His worries were soothed the second Castiel offered his arm for him. Dean smiled in his general direction and they both walked down the street to Dean's house. They walked in silence for a while until Cas asked him an unexpected question.

"Have you always been like that?"

"What do you mean? Blond... or blind?" 

He was rewarded with Castiel's laughter before he answered with "Blind." Dean paused for a moment, taking a piece of candy from inside his pocket and unwrapping it. "Since I was born." he answered, popping the candy into his mouth. "And is it okay?" That simple question made him pause in the middle of the sidewalk, contemplating for a moment. "Not all the time. Sometimes, I get angry... I mean, who doesn't? Everybody gets angry for one reason or another, right?" he waited for Cas' sound of agreement before flashing him a smile and walking again. 

"Besides, there are advantages! People do you a fuck load of favors!" he exclaimed, making Castiel laugh again. Dean liked it when he made Cas laugh, he liked the sound of his voice so carefree in laughter. "So that means you've never seen Sam's face?" Dean shook his head at that, stopping again in front of the trash can. He's walked these streets enough times to know where they are now. "I don't need to see his face. His voice is enough." Dean said matter-of-factly, trying in vain to throw the candy wrapper into the trash.

"Here, let me." Cas' hand was on top of his as he guided Dean's hand to the flap. When he felt it move, Dean released his grasp on the wrapper and he smirked at Cas. "See what I mean? Favors!" Cas just shook his head and continued to hold his hand while they walked.

Not that Dean minded. 

* * *

He was relieved to finally be in his room again, the lingering smell of his morning coffee still in the air. He welcomed Cas in like he did during the other times before. The shifting of fabric meant that Cas took off his trenchcoat that he learned was the color tan from Sam. He had no idea why he liked that coat so much but he never questioned him about it. He would imagine that it would swallow him up and make him look like a baby in a trenchcoat. That image would make him smile every time and it would make him laugh at most nights.

Without hesitation, Dean took off his leather jacket and his plaid shirt. He sighed in content at the cool air hitting his exposed skin before reaching around for his closet door. He grabbed a plain t-shirt and pulled it over his head. "That feels better. Maybe I should ditch the leather jacket next time?" he asks Cas whom he didn't know was just staring at him the entire time he undressed. "Uh... C-could I use your bathroom?" Cas' voice was unusually high for some strange reason but Dean shrugged it off and nodded. "Yeah sure, buddy. Third door to the left." He heard Cas' quickly fading footsteps and sat down at his desk.

He put up a new document, hearing the familiar ping when it opened. He realized quickly that he needed his textbook and he felt around his study table for the certain hardbound. Instead of finding his book, however, he found Cas' trenchcoat piled messily beside him. He ran his fingers across the smooth material, smiling as he imagined Cas wearing this again. Before he knew it, he was bringing the coat up to his face and he inhaled the scent. It smelled like too sweet tea, cheap cologne and... Cas. It smelled like Cas and it was heavenly. 

He continued to hold his trenchcoat, not ever noticing its owner standing in his doorway.

* * *

 

They were in their usual spot, with Dean leaning against the wall and Sam's head on his lap. Sam wasn't as tense yesterday. In fact, he could hear the smile in his brother's voice now which made him happy. They were singing a song that they both liked for once and argued about the real lyrics of the song. He knew Sam was right but what kind of big brother would he be if he didn't have petty arguments with his little brother now and then? When they lapsed into a comfortable silence, Sam sat up next to Dean. Dean put his head on his brother's shoulder.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Am I... handsome?"

"Dude of course you are. Mom certainly thinks so."

"Duh, that's mom! She's supposed to say I'm handsome even if I wasn't."

"Well you are. Heck, you're better looking than me."

"Thanks, Sammy. I'll take that to the grave."

He knew that Sam was rolling his eyes at him now and he brought his head back up to lean against the wall. "Do other people think I'm handsome?" he asked and quickly adding "Excluding Lisa." which made his brother chuckle lowly. "You've got to ask other people that, Dean."

"Wouldn't that make me sound like a self-centered asshole?"

"Weren't you already a self-centered asshole?"

"Haha. Very funny." Castiel found them soon after and he immediately held on to Cas' strong arm. Noting that there was no tension this time. They walked home, talking about anything and everything all while Dean missed the knowing smile his brother directed at his fingers curled around Cas' arm.

* * *

"Psst, Dean."

"Yeah?"

"I left my trenchcoat in your room yesterday."

"Then get it after school."

"Can't. I've got to visit my cousins today."

"I'll bring it to school tomorrow then."

"Okay."

Cas' hand slipped away from Dean's shoulder and he surprisingly found himself longing for it.

* * *

 

The final bell rang and Cas said goodbye to Dean. He reached out for Cas' hand and squeezed it before he left the classroom. He listened as his footsteps faded in with the other students and he sighed, slouching on to his table. Sam volunteered to help Mr. Singer bring his stuff back to the faculty room and Dean was forced to sit back and wait until he came back. He waited patiently until he finally heard Sam's string of apologies for making him wait. "Sorry, man. You know Bobby brings these weird things to class and they're heavy as fuck."

"Sam... I need to talk to you." 

Sam paused in his packing and looked at Dean with a raised eyebrow. He sat down next to his brother and scooted closer. "Sure, what is it?" The younger boy placed his elbows on his knees and waited for Dean to speak. "I don't think this is the place for it." his brother said, shifting uncomfortably around in his seat. "There's no one here." Sam promised, placing a comforting hand on Dean's knee. Yet, he didn't know what he was supposed to be comforting Dean for. Dean waited for a few more seconds before he opened his mouth to quickly say,

"I think I'm in love with Cas."

Sam smiled knowingly, patting Dean's knee. "I know." he said and Dean snapped his head up in alarm. "Was I that obvious?" he asked, an uncharacteristic blush appearing on his freckled face. "A bit." he said, laughing slightly. He then knew that it was a bad idea to laugh when he saw Dean's distraught expression. "Dean?" he asked, cautiously placing his other hand on his shoulder. "Dean, are you okay?" The only answer his brother gave him was a broken sob. Sam immediately went and hugged his brother, not caring if others would see them. "Hey, hey... It's alright to be in love with him. He's a great guy." he said, trying to calm his brother down.

He has never seen Dean cry over anything, let alone for a boy. His green yet dull eyes have never showed even the twinkle of a tear until now. He knew that he should take him home now, before he has a breakdown in the school. "Come on, Dean. Let's head home." Dean's grip on his arm was tighter than usual but he didn't care. They quickly walked home with Dean staggering and wiping his face now and then. Sam's heart ached at the sight of it. Dean has never looked more lost in the world than right now.

Before they knew it, Sam laid Dean on his bed and went to the kitchen to grab him a glass of water. Dean remained still on his bed, tears still streaming down his face. He knew it was silly to cry over a boy. And this was Cas damn it. Why did he have to fall in love with his first and best friend? Why did it have to be stupid Cas with his stupid strong arms and his stupid trenchcoat. "Fuck you, Cas." he said, his voice even raspier than before. He roughly wiped his face with his hand again, trying in vain to bring those tears away.

After a few minutes of failed attempts to stop crying, he heard his door open and someone enter. He assumed it was Sam with his water so he started ranting to him. His anger and insecurity shining through his words. He spoke of how maybe he was too stupid to fall in love in the first place. He spoke of how Cas might reject him, making him feel even more useless and crazy. He spoke of how Cas was just too hard to resist anyway yet he could have restrained harder and maybe he wouldn't have ended up in this damn chick flick moment.

He was cut off from his ramblings though by a pair of soft lips against his. He froze mid-sentence, letting those lips continue kissing him. He knew that it couldn't be Sam. It just couldn't be. He reached up tentatively to run his hands through the stranger's hair, kissing back. His brain went haywire when he felt those unruly strands in his fingers. Could it be? But before he could push any further, those lips left his too soon and he heard those footsteps run down the stairs and out of the house. Dean stood there, his hands coming up to feel his lips. Slightly damp from his tears yet swollen from being recently kissed. Slowly, a smile creeped on to those lips and a blush soon rested again on his cheeks.

Only four words were in his mind. Four words and an image of a head of unruly black hair and bright blue eyes hiding behind thick glasses.

_**He likes me back.** _

All Dean could do was smile, blissfully unaware of his proud little brother watching him from his doorway and the trenchcoat now missing from his study table.

**Author's Note:**

> AHHHHHHHHHH was it good? I don't know. It's 12 mn right now and I'm loopy weehee. This is also the longest one shot I ever made for Supernatural so let's celebrate! *mini confetti canon explodes* *Misha voice* Confetti! It's a parade!


End file.
